She Needs a Valentine

I used to work on school stuff from the moment I got to school at 7:00 in the morning until I left nine or ten hours later in the afternoon. Recently I find myself spending large portions of my planning period browsing the Internet, clicking on the various news headlines on Yahoo! front page, reading investment advice, updating my blog, doing my assignments for an online class, etc. Today I walked outside and looked at the birds and the rain puddles, the decrepit remains of some parade floats parked behind the school for who knows how many years. At home, I buy stocks for my new IRA, clean and cook, take out the trash, discuss with my roommate the issue of our Internet turning off and on with the whim of his noisy computer fan, and make miscellaneous phone calls to people queued up to hear from me. I told one of them I feel in the midst of winter doldrums. Or call it spring fever. Basically I feel like doing everything but school these days.

Sometimes the weather is warm, then the next day it turns cold again. The locals say Mississippi is like that. Today a co-worker who was giving me a ride home told me of an April several years ago when they went from 80-degree temps to snow within one week!

Is it possible to have a harmless crush on a student? I think so. I’ll go to 123-baby-names.com and find a pseudonym for her: Here, I’ll call her “Gretchen.” So last week, it came up in class that I should come watch her play basketball. It was the last home game of the regular season, and I was feeling a little guilty I had not made it out to any of the basketball games yet (mostly due to my transportation situation). So I showed up. She saw me during the pre-game warm-ups, called out my name, waived and smiled. She went on to play the whole game, scored 25% of her team’s points, and won. I enjoyed it. Now, I had another good student on the girls team, as well as a few students I know on the boys team—and it was good to cheer for them too—but I’ll be honest here, it was Gretchen in particular I felt most fondly for. The next morning, she thanked me for coming to the game, and I replied, “I didn’t know you were such a star!” But she is. Gretchen is one of the best students I’ve ever had. She’s a teacher’s dream: Smart, hard-working, participates in class, polite and respectful. And she has gotten the highest score on each of the tests I have given this term. So this week we host the district playoffs. Monday, the morning of the first round, Gretchen told me she probably wouldn’t be playing much that night, as she was not feeling well, but for some reason I showed up anyhow. And she played. She did well. And we won. She didn’t seem to notice me before the game this time, and at one point, she took a tumble on the court diving after a loose ball, colliding with another player. I found myself feeling worried for her and mostly just wanting to express sympathy and encouragement. I couldn’t believe the disinterested manner of the white physical trainer who took his time coming to her aid, only to pull her up gruffly by the elbow. But she seemed fine after a spell on the bench and played the whole game afterwards. During the boys game, after the girls came out of the locker room, she spotted me from across the gym, waived, held up nine fingers to tell me how many points she scored. I held up my hands and clapped for her. Today, at school, she told me she wanted to talk about something personal after school. “Well, not that personal,” she said. So after school, she found her way to my classroom, and I asked her what’s up. She asked me why I walked home after the game. She told me I just about had her crying for making me come to her games only to have to walk home at night. She said she was going to have to start taking up donations to buy me a car, “dead serious!” (Can you imagine that?) I think the thing is, Gretchen is cute and all, for sure, but it’s not like I have the hots for her exactly. I’ve just never had such a perfect human being, as a student, actually show an interest in me, as a person. I am touched, and I like her back. Tremendously.